My Brother Lives
by Cozzybob
Summary: After Relena discovers that her brother is alive, she finds herself still wishing for his death. Not Relena-bashing. Cannon, no pairings (except background 6-9).


**My Brother Lives**

Pair: mention of 6-9, possible 1-R, pretty cannon

Warning: spoilers for the series, Relena seriously debating murder, angst? Bleakness.

Note: Picks right up on episode... whatever it was, the one in Sank where Relena finds out that Zechs is her brother (during the battle in Antarctica). I haven't exactly seen the episode in a very long time, so it's not exactly by-the-script here. I apologize for any odd inconveniences.

Written for the GW500 community on livejournal, challenge 52 -- charcoal

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_Kill him Heero!_

"...wish the death of your own bother?"

_Kill him Heero!_

I stand here, my mouth slack, my eyes wide, my identity, my life... my face...

Gone.

No.

_Kill him Heero!_

My family. My...

Everything I have ever known was taken away from me. That woman with the rose... her name was Une, she killed him. She took him away from me, the father I knew all of my life. She took him away, she killed him right before my eyes in a flash of golden light and now... and now it's done. It's done, it's gone, it's over.

He told me that I was not his daughter. After thirteen years of ignorance, he said to me that I was a princess, that I was stolen, that I was protected, that I had a legacy, a role, a space to fill.

I had a father and a mother, but they are dead now.

No! I have a mother... I _have _a mother, I _have _a mother. I _have_ a mother...

I have a brother.

_Kill him Heero!_

I...

I cannot speak. I hear orders, voices, words flooding around me. I see a screen, I see two titanic machines dressed in white, battling each other. Killing each other.

Killing...

_Kill him Heero!_

I want him dead.

I want him gone, I want him away, I don't want him. I don't need him, I already have a life, I have a name--my name is Darlian and I'm a foolish little rich girl, the daughter of a Vice Minister, I'm a spoiled bitch and I have a lot of very rich friends. I have no siblings, no bothers, no sisters... I don't need him. I don't...

No. He can't be my brother.

My brother...

_Kill him Heero!_

But she's looking at me, and confessing her love for him.

She loves my brother.

Does my brother love her?

_Kill him Heero!_

_Kill him Heero!_

_Kill him!! Kill him!!_

No. No! I am the daughter of a pacifist. The princess... the... _princess _of a fallen pacifist nation. I am the princess of Sank, one of two heirs left to continue the legacy of absolute pacifism. Of the end of war. Of guns. Of blood.

I cannot wish another's death.

I cannot order, I cannot insist, I cannot _wish _for my own brother's... murder. I can't. I'm not allowed, I'm not supposed to, I can't go killing anyone. I can't kill the woman who killed my father, my real father, I can't kill...

I can't kill him.

_Kill him Heero!_

I won't.

I can't.

I will not.

_Kill him Heero!_

My fathers, and the one unnamed mother are buried six feet under the ground. My fathers, and the one unnamed mother are ashes, are dust. Are dead.

My one mother, the one alive, the one left, is alone. Is mine. Is my mother...

My mother. Mine.

He cannot have my mother.

He cannot have me.

He is not my brother, he is dead.

He died.

He's gone.

I...

But I remember now. I remember a little, vaguely. I remember smoke, I remember fire, I remember the color red and... I remember charcoal. My father Darlian had this piece of charcoal that he always kept in a box under his bed. It was ragged and deformed, twisted. Ugly. He told me once, when I had found it, that it was from wings of an angel. He said that this angel had wooden wings, and it was beautiful, but it fell from the sky because it's wings were too heavy and... it died. He said that the piece of charcoal was part of what remained of the wings, and he kept it because it always reminded him that sometimes dreams were too heavy to become reality, and you had to make sacrifices.

Contrary to the morbidity of it, I've always liked that story.

But now I understand what he meant.

Darlian, though he loved the King Peacecraft, did not believe in Absolute Pacifism. He believed that our kingdom fell because we set our goals too high and did not take the steps necessary to follow them. It was too hard, too fast, and we fell.

And this happened.

And now I want my own brother dead.

_Kill him Heero!_

My brother. His name is Milliardo Peacecraft and he is the prince of Sank, was the original heir before he died in AC182 at the age of six.

He's dead. He's... he's dead.

He is not my brother...

"...love him..."

But she loves him.

And I respect her.

I cannot kill him.

I will not.

I...

Don't kill him, Heero.

Don't kill my brother.

I wait.

My brother lives.

--_Fini_


End file.
